Iron Sharpens Iron

Nurturing your private life...

Today’s reading should somehow relate to every married guy in some way or another.

EXCERPT: “Maurice and Sally have a recurring argument. Whenever Maurice wants time for himself or time with friends, Sally starts to pout. She views any separateness as a thereat to their togetherness. Maurice frequently offers to give her some alone time and encourage her to go out with some girlfriends, but she never takes him up on his offer. She tried to make him feel guilty for wanting to do anything away from her and the family... Men may have more of a need for space and distance than woman (although woman need this also), but man don’t know how to make their need known without hurting their wives. They may retreat into a non-communicative shell, work late or go out with the guys, leaving their wives feeling abandoned and alone.” Lifemates pg 105-106.

REFLECTION: The battle for time alone began for me when we had kids. Up to that point I was a morning person, could wake up at 6am for a surf, pop in at home to share a coffee and kiss with the waking wifie and head off to work. It was easy.

Having kids changed the playing field, there was less energy, more to do, to give, more people to consider and before I knew it I was constantly frustrated not knowing how to find time alone anymore to recharge without feeling like I was abandoning the family.
  
Natalie and I finally reached this place where we both acknowledged she liked me more when I could exert energy alone and I liked her more when she could recharge from the overwhelming challenges that come with being a mom. So we both agreed to make time alone a part of our lives. It became a priority alongside things like date nights, family days and seeking God together.

Some Keys I have found...
Communicate non-defensively about both your needs to recharge.
Plan ahead for the special times off so nobody is left overwhelmed when picking up the slack.
When you release your spouse there should be no guilt trips that follow.
Be thankful for the sacrifices your wife makes and use your time wisely to recharge.


Blessings Boys,

Rob