Iron Sharpens Iron

If you have not begun to work on establishing vision for your marriage and the goals to accompany it, I highly encourage you to use the fresh start of 2009 to do so! Read and follow the 3 steps in Marriage 7 devotion.

Moving into Lifemates Chapter 4 - I will revisit my expectations

EXCERPT: “Each of us enters marriage with preconceived notions of how things should be. The belief that we are entitled to personal happiness has become the central imperative in many of or lives. Happiness has become more important than family. Human beings are sacrificed regularly to this end. We believe in love, but we also believe in self... As a culture, we have so idealized marriage that we have turned it into the primary vehicle for personal, emotional and spiritual transformation.” Pg. 73

What carries more weight in a marriage, your entitlement to happiness or the commitment you make before God to enter into a lifelong covenant with your wife?

Most people enter into marriage with a couple pages of un-communicated fine print.  They have their own established understanding and expectations for areas like...
Children, Spirituality, Chores, Careers, Honesty, Together Time, Parents, Finances, Hobbies, Sex, Sleep, Friends, Decision Making, Divorce etc...

There will be a natural friction as we work through each area and re-establish new expectations that we BOTH share. It takes compromise and letting go of self to truly make it through the gauntlet of moving from MY expectations to OUR expectations.

The struggle will be for those of us who refuse to compromise on our expectations in certain areas where we would rather choose our personal happiness over what will be best for the commitment we made to family, to the “US”.

This scripture is referring to following Christ but the truth is the same for marriage. The sooner you lose your OWN life in your marriage , the sooner you will find it. I receive so much more when I lay it all down for my family. So much more comes back to me than when I try to defend my own domain. Lets not look like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, lets let go of the past and step into the new wineskin.

Matthew 16:25 For whoever wants to save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?